


watch

by egg (strwpup)



Series: The Tower [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Blood, Bug mention, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Mind Control, Unhealthy Relationships, breathing problems, canon divergent post c2e124 i believe, local drow doesn't understand sleep, someone give essek some praise, the other two just have no screen time, the tomb takers are all there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:15:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29597472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strwpup/pseuds/egg
Summary: the nein + essek's fight with the tomb takers, and night watch conversations from the nights before
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Caduceus Clay & Essek Thelyss, Essek Thelyss & Caleb Widogast, Fjord & Beauregard Lionett, The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss
Series: The Tower [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186946
Comments: 12
Kudos: 144





	watch

_ Not to jinx it _ , Essek thought,  _ but the battle was going well. _

Veth had Otis’ full attention, trading shots from opposite ends of the room. Zoran and Tyffial were fully occupied with the tag team of Yasha and Beau. Caduceus and Cree were surrounded by swarms of beetles and mosquitoes ripping at them both. 

Essek had never seen clerics fight before. He made a note to never upset Caduceus.

Lucien was snarling at Fjord, who was just out of range of his scimitars but just close enough to keep his attention. Jester stayed back with Essek, healing her friends with her duplicate as much as she could.

Caleb’s presence was felt through the battlefield, flames still singeing Cree’s fur, Beau’s punches coming twice as fast; but as far as he could tell, no one had seen Caleb since they entered the room. Which wasn’t ideal. But Essek found solace in knowing if he couldn’t see Caleb, Lucien probably couldn’t either.

In between swings with his spiritual weapon, Caduceus yelled to Essek, successfully grabbing his attention. He caught his eyes and jerked his head in the direction behind Lucien. Essek followed the line of sight to see a flash of copper hair in the shadows. He let out a breath of relief. Making sure Caleb stayed in the corner of his line of sight, Essek pulled a crystal prism out of his robe and began casting on Lucien.

*******

For all Essek was terrified about taking a watch with Caduceus the first night in Aeor, it was going by fast. Or at least it was until Caleb started making that weird noise like his throat was constricted.

Caduceus had quietly informed him that was a normal noise when Beau had begun doing it. He had explained a few things about ‘sleep’, some things he never would’ve picked up from a book on it. Essek still doesn’t understand how evolution had not fixed this ‘snoring’. It was loud enough to wake other creatures up, and that’s the worst thing a defenseless person can do when surrounded by enemies.

Essek didn’t think he could feel more protective of the Nein, but he was swiftly proven wrong when he saw them all huddled together in their sleep. The claws and horns and teeth on Jester and Fjord might be enough to deter the average beast, and nothing would be stupid enough to attack the heavily muscled Yasha with a giant sword strapped to her back. Maybe Veth would be safe with the way she has her crossbow prepared even in sleep. But the humans…

When they settled down, Beau and Caleb retreated to an edge of the dome and wrapped around each other, separate from the rest of the group. Beau crashed fast, while it seemed that Caleb was the last to sleep. 

They looked so different unconscious. Beau wasn’t armed with her staff or her sarcasm, and if something attacked her, it would take a moment for her to be ready to fight back. Caleb’s defenses, his spells and his quick thinking, were not visible when he was asleep. All of Beau’s suspicion and Caleb’s anxiety disappeared from their faces when they were like this. They looked innocent. And vulnerable.

No one in this group could trance. They all regularly took their chances with sleeping in this world full of things that wanted to kill them. Essek wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop worrying about them out on quests when he eventually went back home. Maybe he could work something out, get Jester to message when they were settling down for the night, and he could teleport over and take all the watches for the night if he tranced earlier in the day-

“They’re going to need you, you know.”

Essek turned back around to Caduceus. For maybe the first time since they met, Caduceus wasn’t watching him. Cad’s ears were low and back, and Essek could feel his own ears mirroring them.

“What do you mean?” he replied.

Caduceus rubbed his hands together. “In this fight. You’re going to need to fight hard for all of them.”

Essek relaxed a bit at the clarification. “Of course I’m going to fight.”

Cad shook his head. “I don’t think you understand what I mean.” When Essek didn’t respond, he continued. “I’m not sure how much you know about Mollymauk.”

Essek vaguely remembered talk of the tiefling, his mural in the Xhorhaus. “I don’t know much.”

“Mollymauk was with them from the beginning. He was very close to them. He died in battle. Now this Lucien is using that body, and let me be clear, no part of Lucien around now is part of their friend. But…” His face quirked. “I fear that some of them will not be able to fight their hardest against him because of that. Jester will not be attacking him with all she can, so she will be healing this time, and I will be prepared to fight in her stead.”

Essek raised an eyebrow. “Forgive me, I thought you were both clerics?”

Cad chuckled. “We are. But we tend to have… different approaches.”

Essek nodded, not really understanding.

“Both Yasha and Beau were close to Mollymauk, and I don’t believe they will be able to make the killing shot if it comes down to it. I’ve talked to Fjord about picking up any slack on the melee side, and Veth knows to take the shot if she needs to. While friends, they weren’t as close and might have more clarity on the situation.”

Essek nodded again, a grimace crossing his face. Not having a strong melee presence could go dramatically wrong against someone with anti-magic.

“I need you to watch Caleb in this battle,” Caduceus said, and Essek’s ears went straight up. Cad softly smiled in his direction. “Not that I think you’ll have any trouble with that.”

Essek turned away, trying to look anywhere else to hide his blush, and of course, he ended up focusing on where Beau and Caleb were piled together along the edge of the dome. He decided to look at the stone ground instead.

“Why does he need to be watched?”

Cad considered his words for a moment before continuing. “Lucien will be focused on him. We’re going to do all we can to keep his attention on us, and the echo and Fjord’s disguise should help, but I don’t think any of that will keep his eyes long.”

This information was new to him. “Why would Lucien have it out for him?”

“I am not completely certain. I believe a few factors were involved. Lucien had taken a…” Cad’s ear flicked as he picked a word. “A liking to Caleb. When we were all traveling together. He had also… tricked him into doing something. And there’s a significant chance if things get bad, Lucien will use it against him. In our fight against them, he singled Caleb out, and I believe in this fight he will do so again.”

Essek frowned at that. The inquisitive part of him screamed to ask what he had done, but he knew it probably wasn’t Caduceus’s place to say. 

“I am also not sure how hard Caleb will fight. There is a chance that, like some of the others, he will stand down against his friend. I cannot say for sure how close they were, but he was not taking the death well when I first met him. You might need to cover some of the firepower we would be missing from him.” Cad’s face scrunched up. “There is also a chance he knows this about himself, and he plans on letting himself go. I have seen him abandon himself before, putting on strength for a battle he thinks we need more viciousness to win. If that happens, someone needs to have an eye on him the whole fight. And someone needs to help him pull himself back together after.”

Essek did not know what to say to that. He didn’t know how to feel, and he certainly did not expect Caduceus to give him such an important responsibility. When he spoke again, he felt himself choking up. “I will not let you down, Caduceus.”

A big hand clapped down on Essek’s shoulder, making him flinch. Cad was smiling at him, a real and hopeful smile. “I know you won’t.” 

*******

Essek couldn’t stop the grin on his face when he felt the reality break take. It could not have gone better. He could feel the cold blast from where he stood and knew that meant he had bought them time by blinding Lucien. It was _so rare_ that Essek got to see the practical applications of what he could do. It had been so long since he had been in a real fight, feeling that magnanimous pull of his own power. It was times like this that he remembered that he was really good at this, that he was a _dunamantic_ _prodigy_. He turned to Jester with that giddiness on his features.

Jester’s face had paled. Essek followed her line of sight to see Lucien prone on the floor. Fjord had been knocked back and badly burned by the massive inferno burning in the center of the room. It looked like it was a high-level spell by the way it was affecting the recently frozen Lucien. Essek met Caleb’s stare from where he was standing in the open on the other side of it, cold and distant. 

Jester sent her duplicate to heal Fjord, and Essek raced along the side of the room. He had to stop Lucien from realizing where the spell came from, he had to get to Caleb before his friend could cast another reckless burn, he had to do  _ something _ -

Essek had never been fast, even floating, and he had never hated that about himself more than now. He only got halfway there before Lucien was on his feet again. 

“There you are,” he said with a sickening grin. He started casting something, but Essek countered it fast enough to have no effect. Lucien growled at him, getting something else ready, but at least he got his focus.

Soon enough, it was his turn again. He felt the reality break changing into a wormhole, and flung Lucien as far from Caleb as possible. He took a moment to enjoy how hurt Lucien looked before refocusing. Caleb still seemed to be casting, holding something on Beau if he could guess. 

Maybe he was fine. Maybe this was the mistake that would bring the Nein down, clumping the wizards together unnecessarily. He got ready to head back to the other side of the room when Caleb reached out a hand to stop him. 

He looked between the hand on his arm and Caleb’s face. Caleb looked confused about what he was doing.

“Caleb?” he asked, just loud enough over the noise of battle.

He took a breath, brow furrowing further. “Essek, I…”

Before Caleb could finish whatever he was saying, Essek got socked in the jaw so hard his head whipped to the other side.

*******

Essek wasn’t trying to eavesdrop on Beau. He really wasn’t. If he was going to die in Aeor, he’d be damned if it was by Beau’s hands.

But Essek was never truly not aware, and Beau was awake and loud. Essek was bored. So he may have picked up bits of a conversation he was not supposed to hear, but really it was Beau’s fault.

She had decided to take her watch with Fjord, whose voice was equally hard to ignore in the quiet room.

(The humans weren’t allowed to sleep at the same time since the first night in Aeor. He had come to consciousness with everyone whispering about them. Beau had left the bubble and was pacing the hallway they had fallen asleep in.

“What’s happening?” He had asked.

They had turned to him, forming a protective wall around Caleb. That brought him to full awareness. He caught a glimpse of what he could only assume was Caleb’s bare shoulder and forced himself to look at the floor for everyone’s sakes. “Is something wrong?”

Fjord started to say something, but Veth cut him off. “Don’t worry about it. Humans sometimes have… shared nightmares? When they’re underground too long and sleeping next to each other. We um. We forgot to separate them. Since we’re underground. Yeah.”

Essek didn’t completely believe her, but… to be honest, he didn’t know enough about humans to refute that. Every time he learned something new about this sleep concept, he understood it less. Jester looked upset, but she just nodded along.

Fjord turned away from him to his group. “Maybe we should make sure they aren’t unconscious at the same time? Split up watches, take longer rests, so we don’t have any more problems with the… nightmares.”

Everyone had agreed, and that was that.)

Beau chewed on a piece of her seemingly endless stock of pocket bacon. “Fjord?”

He grunted in response.

“Can you make me a promise?”

“What is it?”

Beau took another bite. “If he gets me, and I can’t get out of it, you need to kill me.”

Fjord sputtered. 

“You’re going to be the only one close enough with the chance besides Yasha, and I’m not asking her that. Usually, I’d count on Caleb to do it, but…” Her words trailed off. Another chewy bite.

“Yeah, I understand.” The silence hung in the air for a moment. “Damn.”

Beau laughed mirthlessly. “Yup.” There was the sound of her flask opening. “It won’t be forever. I doubt you could stop Jes from reviving me that long.” Fjord made a grunt of agreement. “But, I don’t think my death is going to stop this. You have to get her to wait until Lucien is gone, at least.” The sound of sloshing liquid. “You want a drink?”

“Please,” he responded, and moments later, “Here’s hoping it doesn’t come to that. But I promise, Beau.”

Beau let out a breath. “Good. Good.” She took another sip and was quiet for the rest of her watch. Essek didn’t think much of the conversation in his trance, thoughts fading back to happier and warmer memories.

*******

The punch would’ve knocked him back into the wall if Caleb hadn’t been holding him still. There were four more impacts before the blur stopped moving, and Essek recognized the form of Beau. 

“Beau, what-”

His jaw locked up with the last impact, stunning him in place.

Beau turned to Caleb, prying his hand off of Essek. “I’ll take care of him. Go.” 

Caleb gave him one last look, the biting coldness coming over his eyes again as he ran away from them.

Thoughts raced through Essek’s head as he couldn’t move. He had expected to die down here, but he didn’t think it would be at the Nein’s hand. He probably deserved it, but-

Another bunch of impacts rattled his body. The stun started slipping off, but Essek was still immobile. Should he even try to stop Beau? He didn’t think she wanted him dead, but strategically the play made sense. Essek had drained his magic, getting them there and Lucien down. If they were worried about him turning on them after Lucien was done, the best play was to take him out when he was surprised. Take down two morally ambiguous purple enemies with one stone.

“Beau, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to hurt any of you.”

“I’d like to see you try,” she sneered, attacking again.

Somewhere in the distance, Jester was yelling. He couldn’t tell what she was saying, but he heard when it turned from a question to panic.

When he was able to move again, he shoved Beau back as gently as possible with a low-level gust of wind. It was enough to knock her prone but hopefully not do any damage. He moved back to get some distance and an idea of what was going on. A fireball just barely missed him before he had a good enough view.

He followed the direction it came from to see Caleb with a smoking hand outstretched. Seeing that almost hurt more than the attack would have.

He understood Beau wanting to take him down. Beau had never been on his side. And he wasn’t deluded that Caleb trusted him or cared for him at all in the same way. But after all they’d been through together; after the hours teaching, and the time creating something  _ new _ together, and ‘you weren’t born with venom in your veins’, and  _ breathe _ ; to know that Caleb was trying to take him down still made him breathless with the ache.

Essek could hear Beau running up behind him, but he paid no mind. He made a promise. He said he would watch Caleb, and by the Light, he would watch him until Caleb made the finishing blow.

*******

Caleb had woken up for his watch only a few minutes before the end of Essek’s trance. He could only assume that he had a nightmare by the gasping, but no one seemed as concerned about this one as the one on the first night. Beau calmed him down, then she and Fjord settled down to sleep. 

Before long, Essek was fully awake. Caleb seemed at peace, thinking in the quiet, and Essek wasn’t going to be the one to interrupt it. Caleb’s coat was on the ground in front of him. He muttered to himself as he ensured his components were precisely where they should be.

It was so rare to see Caleb not wearing the coat. His long sleeves were rolled up in the heat of the dome, revealing the maze of scars on his forearms. Essek had seen them on scourgers before, but they had never answered any of his questions. Maybe one day, he would be able to ask Caleb. Maybe he would answer.

Caleb’s thin white shirt didn’t do much to hide the muscles of his arms and back as he stretched. Caleb wasn’t strong, definitely not in comparison with the Nein, but he had been adventuring for quite some time. He wasn’t buff, but he was toned.

He shook out his hair, combing his fingers through it. He tied it up with the usual strap of leather. 

Minutes later, Caleb finally spoke. “Do you have something to say?”

Essek shook his head, trying to focus. “I, um. Should I have something to say?”

Caleb rubbed his arm. “You were staring at me. I assumed that meant you wanted to talk.”

“Oh, I wasn’t-” He knew that wasn’t true. “I didn’t mean to.” Less of a lie. He tried his best to break the tension with some good old light-hearted humor Verin had done his best to teach him once. “I, uh. You couldn’t see me looking, how did you know. It is almost like you have eyes in the back of your head.”

The tension hung over them regardless. 

“I… I’m sorry. It was supposed to be a funny joke. I’m afraid I may have botched the delivery.”

“Funny,” Caleb said in a way that confirmed he did not find it funny in the slightest. “Come sit with me?”

“Of course.” Essek floated over the Nein, hoping it would be fine so as not to disturb their sleep. He sat an appropriate distance away from the other wizard and waited for him to speak again.

“I have had a… lapse in judgment.”

Essek cocked his head, not even remotely sure where this conversation was going.

“Well, scratch that, I have had many. But I wanted you to know that we almost didn’t come to you.”

Essek frowned. He tried to imagine a rejected timeline where the Nein never arrived in the north, and he waited his days there until he was assassinated or executed.

“Why?”  
Caleb rolled one of his shoulders, and Essek pointedly did not look. “We thought it might be a mistake. There are many tempting and dangerous things here, and we were almost certain you would choose knowledge again.”

Essek tried to hold in his annoyance at that. They were right not to trust him once, and they still didn’t know everything.

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked instead.

“I need to know you will choose them over everything else. And if there’s… anything I can do to ensure that, I will.”

It took a moment for the true meaning of what he was saying to hit Essek.

“Caleb,” Essek started. Caleb looked straight through him, dim blue eyes calculating. If this had happened when they first met, maybe he would’ve taken it. That might’ve been enough for him. But now he has seen those eyes shimmering in the light of invention, almost glowing when he laughs with his friends, actually glowing when he casts in his own brilliant way...

Probably noticing his hesitation, Caleb put a hand on his arm. 

“ _ Caleb,” _ Essek repeated. He put his own hand over his friend’s. Not jerking it away, but not allowing it to go further. “Caleb. You do not need to do this. I am… how could you not know by now that all I have is all of you?” Caleb dropped his gaze. “Even if you didn’t hold my life in your hands with all you know of my crimes… you must know you hold my heart. Or, whatever is left of it, for whatever that’s worth.” He took the hand off of his arm while still keeping it in his own palm. “I can’t promise I’m reformed, or that I won’t get distracted sometimes, but when it matters, I will always choose you. You don’t have to trust me. But please, trust that I won’t knowingly hurt you. Any of you.”

Caleb turned his hand and intertwined their fingers for a moment. Essek found himself suddenly unable to breathe. That was only exacerbated when Caleb smiled softly. 

“I want to believe you,” he said, barely a whisper.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

Caleb chuckled and pulled his hand away. It took everything in Essek to not try to pull it back. “Probably not, if I know anything about myself.” He went back to checking the pockets of his jacket as if something would’ve changed between then and ten minutes prior.

Essek fiddled with the edges of his own cloak. He certainly didn’t need the mantle in the dome, but it was comforting to have. When he finally worked himself up, he spoke up again.

“Can I ask you a question?”

He watched Caleb shrink in on himself before responding. “You may ask.”

“Don’t answer if you don’t want to, of course,” he felt the need to assure him. “But… what happened with Lucien?”

“Jester has already told you the story-”

“My apologies. I phrased that question too vaguely. What did Lucien do to you?”

Caleb’s hand hovered over the pouch of soot and salt. “He did nothing to me. My own hubris caused me to take a bad bet.”

“I don’t know what happened with the bet, and if you don’t want to tell me... that’s your business. But someone seemed to think Lucien will use that against you. Should I be worried about you?”

He laughed at that. “Never.”

Essek tried to give him the sternest look in his arsenal, but he knew there was no way it would be as harsh as he wanted it. “Please be honest with me. I want to know if I should be prepared for something to happen to you.”

Caleb let out a breath, one hand kneading his shoulder. “I… apologies. The truth is, I do not know. I don’t think he’ll kill me if that’s what you’re looking for. At least not in the traditional sense. And not intentionally.” He rubbed at his lower arm. “I’d be too useful to his plans for that. I’m not sure what they are, but I think there’s a chance he wants us to be here because he wants to use us. When we were fighting on the way to you, I think he may have been holding back.”

Essek pondered this. “That is… concerning to hear, certainly. I know you said you don’t know, but do you have theories on what he wants you specifically for?”

“I think my lost bet may have made it easier for me to be controlled. But I don’t know. It could mean much more. It could mean nothing. He didn’t use it in our fight, so I have no idea.” He got much quieter. “I could be used against the only people that care about me again. If you want me to be honest, Essek, I am terrified.”

Essek didn’t think he had ever seen Caleb that close to tears. He wanted to reach out to comfort him, but the way he contorted in on himself made him think that would not have been welcomed. “Why are you here then?” he asked instead. “If you are that scared, maybe you should be somewhere else during the fight. I can make sure the Nein have the spells they need. You don’t have to do this.”

Essek almost flinched back from the determined look Caleb gave him, suddenly feeling way too seen. “I am here because this is my fight too. I am here because even one spell may be the tipping point between us winning and the end of the world. I am here because if something happens, I have no doubt Yasha can cut me down. I am here because I need to face the consequences of my actions.”

He knew that last line was directed at both of them. It cut through to the ball of shame still thriving in his chest. Every nerve in his body was frayed, and he wanted nothing more than to look away from Caleb’s burning stare. But he had made a promise, and there was no way he was backing away from Caleb now. “Very well then. Is there anything you want me to do if something does go wrong?”

“Stay with them,” he said. “Let them change you. If this is the end of me, I don’t want this to be the end of you. Both of us have so much to repent for. We could do so much good with the Nein. And while I know some of them would prefer both of us, they certainly need at least one of us.” He broke eye contact and looked at the wall across from them. “I can’t tell you everything. I just… I can’t trust you will make the right choice with it. But I will have to believe you will make the right choice with them.”

“I understand.” He didn’t like it, but he did understand. “And I will try with the absolute best of my ability to help all of you, whether or not something goes down tomorrow.”

Caleb smiled again, mostly to himself. Not a big thing, but noticeable enough to break through the anxiety and guilt if one was looking close enough. “Here’s hoping that will be enough.”

*******

Essek watched as Caleb prepared to throw another spell his way. Caleb continued backing up the whole way, eyes frantically trying to take in everything going on around him like a wounded dog. 

Essek was ready to be dropped at any moment, but he held out hope they would change their minds.

He was able to take minimal damage from Beau’s attack when she caught up to him. Before she could attack again, Yasha let out a blood-curdling scream. Jester’s duplicate pumped a heal into him, standing between himself and Beau.

Beau looked at the duplicate and hesitated. She blinked a few times, then dropped her fists. Only when she started looking around panicked did Essek realize something was wrong.

She sucked in a deep breath and started running in the direction Caleb had fled to. Essek moved to catch up to her as best as he could. In the corner of the room he had previously flung Lucien, Caleb stood at the tiefling’s side. Only then did his conversation the previous night catch up with him. Keeping enough distance to stay out of Lucien’s cone, Essek started getting a headcount for the rest of his friends.

Jester, the real one, was helping Fjord back to his feet a couple of feet away. Jester, the duplicate, was skirting the edge of the cone, trying to get close on the side. Yasha left Tyffial motionless on the floor and was racing over to Beau. Veth and Otis were still trading shots, and Otis seemed to be unable to move away. Caduceus and Cree were still fighting in the center, and both looked pretty close to unconsciousness. 

Caduceus was probably in the most trouble at this moment, but Jester and Fjord were close enough to help once they were settled. And Caleb wasn’t far behind in immediate danger level if Lucien’s expression could be trusted.

Lucien was snarling at the fallen Zoran and Tyffial, keeping Cree in the corner of his sights. He was still covered in blood (although Essek couldn’t say for sure how much was his and how much was intended). 

He put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder, digging his talons in. “Cree,” He yelled. When she turned to face him, he continued over the din of battle, more to the whole group now. “This has been fun. I think we’re going to go for now. Maybe next time!”

“Wait!” Otis yelled. They started limping into sight. If anyone heard, they didn’t seem to care.

Caleb’s eyes flashed red as he started casting. Essek could barely hear from where he stood, but he was very familiar with teleport’s verbal component. An almost scorching warmth and the smell of old books reached into the weave, dodging around the Nein.

Sea air and brine seeped into the air. Essek turned to see Fjord had used a Counterspell from where he was heavily leaning against Jester.

The feel of an unfamiliar magic (an oppressive fog and the scent of iron) covered them all. Otis smirked with a hand raised from where he was still limping. Another counter, then.

Veth raised her own hand at Otis with an annoyed screech. Her bitter, acidic energy settled on top of the last counter.

When Essek thought they might have stopped the teleport successfully, Lucien dropped another layer of counterspell somehow. He smirked at the rest of them, assuming he had won.

All of Essek’s nerves were alight with the sheer amount of warping of the weave around them. He tried to focus through Lucien’s heavy coating of uncaring cold and the intense feeling of being watched.

Getting to the center of Aeor had almost drained him. He didn’t regret the reality break, not when Lucien looked as hurt as he did, but-

He was almost out of spells. If he countered the teleport, he would keep the battle there, then maybe they could save Caleb. Or kill Lucien. But at the same time, if he used the only available slot for that, he wouldn’t be able to teleport the Nein and himself away safely if Lucien decided to bring the place down on his way out. And Lucien was close to being down. If they allowed him to regroup, he would come back stronger, possibly with a fully functioning ex-scourger on his side from the start. 

Caleb would want him to get the Nein away. To not risk their lives finishing the fight when Fjord had just come back from the dead and Caduceus was halfway there. To not risk Beau getting taken back under Lucien’s control, tearing her and the only family she cared about apart. Caleb had told him to keep them safe in this exact situation.

Caduceus had told him to watch Caleb. To keep him safe.

Essek turned to make eye contact with Caduceus. He still looked terrible, but Cree had momentarily backed up. He was wiping the blood away from his face with his sleeve when he noticed Essek.  _ Please,  _ Essek tried to communicate mentally.  _ Please tell me what I should do. _

Caduceus straightened up, face tightening in resolve. He simply pointed at Caleb and aimed his staff at Cree’s back. He was expecting her to still be there on his next turn.

Squaring his shoulders, Essek pushed his own magic into the weave. He found the strand holding Caleb’s teleport and pulled.

He threw aside the cold, the acid, the iron, and the brine before pulling on the original string so hard it dissolved. 

The noise of battle suddenly started up around him again. Lucien honed in on Essek before saying something to Caleb. Caleb responded, inaudible from where he stood, but it clearly wasn’t what Lucien wanted to hear. He snapped his fingers, and Caleb disappeared from sight.

A scream choked in Essek’s throat. He started running to where his friend just was. He hoped it was just an illusion of him being gone, but he couldn’t be sure. He was out of dispels, but hopefully Jester or Caduceus could bring him back if they knew what the spell was.

Beau got to Lucien before Essek, socking the tiefling in the jaw. Yasha approached opposite her and swung with that absolute monster of a sword. The duplicate rushed behind Lucien, unaffected by the anti-magic cone aimed at Essek. Fjord and Jester appeared just out of Lucien’s range, water splashing up from what Essek now understood was his misty step.

Fjord looked at Beau, having a silent conversation with her. He nodded, then tore his falchion into Lucien.

Lucien somehow darted out of Beau and Yasha’s range, grabbing Jester by the throat and holding her in the air. He did… something, and blood started emerging from Jester’s eyes, contrasting starkly with her blue skin. 

Caduceus yelled from where he stood further back. “Cree is gone; watch out!”

An arrow lodged itself in Fjord’s sword arm. He winced, but his attention never left Jester.

Essek hadn’t felt that powerless in quite some time. The cone was still focused on him, and what use was he without his magic?

He reached around his person, trying to think of something-

His hand settled on something cold he frankly forgot he had. He rushed towards Lucien. 

When he was close enough to be heard, he yelled at Lucien. “Put her down. Now.”

Lucien smiled at him, seemingly intrigued. “What are you going to do about it, pretty boy?”

Essek smiled wide enough to show off his fangs. Without responding, he used his momentum to shove the obsidian dagger into Lucien’s neck.

Lucien reflexively dropped Jester to the floor. Essek made a note to thank Verin for that promotion present as Lucien’s blood began covering it.

Beau struck again ruthlessly. Yasha took another few swings, but Essek could see it was getting harder and harder for her to hurt him the lower he got.

Fjord got in a few good chops before picking up Jester and teleporting her to Caduceus.

Despite all the other attacks on him, Lucien kept his attention on Essek. Before Essek could move, he was impaled on a shimmering scimitar. Essek was suddenly unable to breathe, holding onto consciousness by a thread. 

Lucien was tracking something with his eyes until a health potion appeared in his grasp. He was almost sure he didn’t have that before. Essek connected the dots through the haze. The cleric was invisible, and possibly so was-

Searing pain ripped through him as Beau and Yasha’s attacks shifted his position on Lucien’s sword. Lucien only chugged the potion, snapping his fingers in Beau’s direction when he was done.

An arrow whizzed towards Yasha, only for Beau to catch it and throw it back.  _ Good.  _ Essek thought.  _ The control didn’t take. _

Essek refocused on his last thought. They were invisible. He needed to… he needed to see…

He shoved his hand into his component pouch, and cast see invisibility. 

Fjord had apparently found Cree if the teal fairy fire surrounding her could be counted as a sign.

No one else could see Caleb, about thirty feet away from the main fight. There was jeweled chalk on the floor—a teleportation circle. On the upside, it appeared Caleb’s concentration had been broken. He stood, staring and gaping at the sword in Essek’s chest. There was a spark of genuine fear in his beautiful blue eyes. Maybe he had broken the control as well. Either way, there wasn’t much Essek could do now.

Caleb was saying something. Essek didn’t have the brainpower left to process what it was.

Jester’s duplicate ran at Essek, but it was clear she would not make it in time with how it had to weave around the cone. 

Lucien started to twist the scimitar. A jolt of fear shot through him. There were so many things he needed to do. So many things he needed to tell them. They still didn’t know he wasn’t consecuted. Would they even try to bring him back?

There were still so many things he needed to tell him. Caleb’s form blurred in the distance, his hair a burning beacon in the encroaching dark.

His friends needed to know where he was if the fight went on. That was more important than anything else he could say.

Essek gathered all of his energy, speaking at a volume he hoped Yasha could hear. He raised his arm in the direction of his friend. “Caleb-”

The sword twisted again, and Essek lost consciousness.

*******

Essek hadn’t expected to wake up again.

He was in a completely unfamiliar room. The Xhorhasian design scared him initially, but he would be in a cell, not in this comfortable bed if he had been discovered.

His eyes were drawn to bright red hair across from him. Caleb sat in a chair, head heavy in his hands. Beau stood beside him, brushing through his hair with her fingers. 

Essek sucked in an unexpectedly hard breath at the sight of them. It made a strange wheezing noise, not entirely unlike the snores the humans made.

Beau stood up straight at the sound. She pushed Caleb’s head to the side to get his attention. Caleb’s eyes met his for a moment before immediately darting back into his lap. Caleb closed his eyes for several seconds. He then got up and left the room, Beau following close behind.

Essek tried to sit up to say something to get him to stay, and three things happened in quick succession.

He found himself unable to move. He looked down to see Jester asleep half on him, weighing him down.

Then he saw that he was shirtless. A frankly excessive amount of bandages were wrapped tight around his chest and stomach.

Then Caduceus’ voice came from his right side, terrifying him for a moment. “I wouldn’t try to move if I were you. If your injury doesn’t knock you out, Jester will. Would you like some tea?”

His lungs and throat seemed very against the idea of him talking. He nodded. Cad handed him a teacup with a beautiful floral design, holding onto it until he was certain Essek wouldn’t drop it.

Essek took a deep sip. It tasted vaguely medicinal, but it wasn’t bad.

“That should help with the exhaustion,” Caduceus explained. He took a sip of his own tea before continuing. “I’m proud of you, Essek.”

Essek felt his ears shoot straight up and almost lost hold of the cup. He tried to remember the last time someone told him that. Sure, the Bright Queen had commended her Shadowhand, and he was used to the jabs of ‘good job, Thelyss’ from disgruntled courtiers, but when was the last time someone was proud of  _ him _ ?

Caduceus laid a hand on his shoulder, pulling him out of the spiral. He motioned to Essek to breathe, an exercise he had now seen Cad go through several times with Caleb. Essek followed him until his breathing leveled out. He hadn’t even noticed his fangs were digging into his lip. He darted his tongue out to soothe the area, only to taste salt. When had he started crying?

“You’re okay, friend. We are safe in the tower. All of us are safe. All of us are here because of you.”

Essek didn’t know what Cad wanted him to say to that. He thought of Caleb staring at him in fear in a crowded battlefield. Still unable to speak, Essek pointed at the door the humans had left through.

“Ah…” Cad’s ears drooped. “They aren’t doing great if you want me to be honest. They both wanted to make sure you woke up. But at least they are here. And all of us will make sure they get to okay eventually.” Caduceus pulled his hand back, leaning back in his chair. He looked at the top of a bookcase on the far wall. Essek craned his neck to see Frumpkin watching with intent blue eyes. He turned his head in confusion, being reasonably sure Frumpkin had not looked like that before. 

Caduceus grabbed Essek’s attention again. “You should go to sleep. It will take some time for those wounds to heal. There will be time to deal with everything else later.” Cad took the teacup from his hands. “You did a good job watching over us. Now let us watch over you.”

And, for the first time he could remember in all his long years, Essek slept.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for everyone who helped inspire this work and kept me motivated!  
> this is the first time I've ever posted a fic and it was super scary but i think it went well  
> please feel free to comment/bookmark/kudos, i would appreciate it a lot :)  
> there is a sequel fic i am planning for this, but it will probably be much longer and take a while to write  
> thank you so much for reading, and i hope you're having a great day :)


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